My rings

So this past week I've been in and out of the NICU scrub room countless times. I have this habit of removing my rings each time I wash my hands, as I've always tried to avoid them going down the drain and I hate getting soap in all the little crevices and in between my finger and the bands. A bad habit I started, and should have stopped. Unfortunately, a few days ago I learned my lesson. It was a "normal' night. Brian and I had just gone to get dinner after seeing the babies and had returned to tuck them in for the night. As always, I removed my rings, set them on the shelf above the sink basin in the scrub room and proceeded to wash my hands. Somewhere along the way I must have been distracted and forgot to take the rings off the shelf and put them back on. We went into the NICU, visited with the babies and then I went to the back room to pump. Upon washing my hands was when I realized my rings weren't on my finger. I immediately went to the scrub room, hoping they would still be there. Nope. I then asked the front desk, thinking certainly someone would have turned them in. Nope, and I broke down in tears. I double checked I wasn't crazy and had put them on that day. We'd taken pictures with the babies earlier that day, and one picture showed me wearing them. So...they weren't at home. This is when I pretty much lost it. I am mad at myself, so saddened by it all and so hurt someone would take something so precious! Neither ring is very valuable in terms of cash, but they are so valuable to me! I love my rings and they are that simple, sentimental item that I've always treasured! Brian and I picked them out together. I can remember every detail about them, I can feel the loss on my finger. They are just rings. I can "replace" the ring part, but I can't replace them. It is sad there is someone out there with MY rings, probably holding the small amount of cash they were able to redeem at a pawn shop. I hope they enjoy that cash...as they will never be able to understand the sentiment of having those two rings on their finger. I filed a police report that night and will follow up with them. There are cameras all over the NICU entrance (where you have to be buzzed in), the scrub room and then within the NICU itself. Additionally, everyone has to sign into a log. So the police can investigate and perhaps determine who it was that took the rings. Perhaps it is someone that was visiting with parents of a NICU baby...I'd certainly hope it isn't a parent of a NICU baby. They of all people should know the importance of those type of sentimental items, especially during a time like this. Oh well. Again, they are just rings. I am still married to a wonderful man, and I'd give my rings away any day for my babies to stay healthy, strong and come home with me. It just saddens me that I can't seem to hold onto the honesty of strangers anymore. Really, just sad.

Home Sweet Home

I'm home and set free from the restraints of University Hospital. It feels great to sleep in my own bed, use my own bathroom and relax in my own setting. It's the little things you miss... :) I came home to a nice welcome from the girl across the street. She made a "Welcome Home Tina" banner above the garage. And then inside the house, balloons were on display.


Tuesday was a big day getting home, settling in and trying to nap before heading back to see the babies. Fast forward to this evening. I've been able to hold both Jack and Maggie. They are such sweet babies.

Maggie is our petite, yet wild child. Her weight is at 2lbs 10.5oz, which is .5oz more from her birth weight. She is off her oxygen and may even be able to have her PIC line removed soon. She is tiny, especially compared to her "little" brother, but she has quite the personality already. I love finding her at the edge of her isolate, already testing her boundaries. She smiles often and loves her pacifier. She doesn't like to be jostled awake, but once slowly awoken she is sweet as can be.




Jack is our calm, but strong boy. His weight is back up to 3lbs 2oz, only 1oz from his birth weight. He is successfully on just oxygen through a cannula line, and his feedings continue to increase each day. My favorite thing to watch, his when he pulls his cannula out of his nose and puts it in his mouth. Cracks me up! He is holding his own with body temperature and we hope he can come out of his isolate in the next week or so. He is bigger than his "big" sister, and we are starting to notice slight differences between the two of them. Jack always has a peaceful look on his face. He is like his daddy, calm and happy in the world.




Brian got to change Maggie's diaper- his first diaper change EVER. Then later that night while I was pumping, he held her to have her weight checked. She was naked and decided to poop all over his hand. I missed the moment, but from what I gather it was pretty hilarious!

Last evening we each got to hold the babies together.


Then this evening we held the babies again, and Brian held them together.


I love holding them and never want to put them back. :) So for now all is well in the world, and I couldn't be happier to have my little family!

Strong babies!

Today was a great day! This morning Jack's chest tube was removed, and he responded great. Then later in the day his x-ray showed no excess air in his lungs and he had his breathing tube removed this evening. He opened his eyes and started to look around a little. We can see his face now! He, like Maggie, is on just normal oxygen through his nose and his breathing is fantastic! While visiting this evening I was able to hold him up in his isolate while the nurse changed his bedding, which was so neat. He also had his umbilical cord feed removed and has a standard PIC line. He is a strong little man, and has quite the grip when he holds onto our fingers. Maggie is continuing to do well, she had her umbilical cord feed removed as well and when we saw her this evening she was awake and looking up at us. I love seeing her little eyes focus in on Brian and I. Both babies are eating great, and fortunately I've been able to give enough of a supply that they have some already in the freezer. The pumping is continuing to go well for me and I'm settling into a routine. It's weird how quickly I feel like my entire body has just changed.

We go home tomorrow. I don't want to leave the babies, but I am very excited to sleep in my own bed and just be home. I planned on going home today, but the doctor gave me the option for another day and I jumped at it. I attempted to stop my pain medicine this morning, which was pretty stupid. I ended up crashing this afternoon and was in pretty bad pain. I'm all better now though.

That's all there is for now. Here are the babies when we visited before bedtime.

Jack


Maggie

They are here!!!

The twins were born Friday, July 17! Here's the back story:

Thursday evening I went onto the monitor like normal and started feeling some of the contractions, but there wasn't anything regular enough to warrant my getting checked out. It was strange to suddenly be feeling the contractions, but they still weren't painful or overly strong. Around 5 and 8 Friday morning I was awoken by a contractions, which I thought was definitely something new. Still not painful, but definitely there. Then I went on the monitor at 8:30 and not only was I contracting on a pretty good rate, but I was feeling them. It was strange because I kept thinking that it couldn't mean anything, since I wasn't in pain. Then, the doctor came in and checked me out. I was at 6cm and 95% effaced. And that was that. They said not only was I headed to L&D, but this time I would be having the babies! I immediately called Brian at work, and he met up with me as I was headed to L&D. From there, everything went so fast!!

Very quickly I had my vitals checked, my IV started, anesthesia came in to explain the spinal tap and before I knew it I was being wheeled into the OR. I was pretty scared, nervous, excited and anxious! They kept asking if I was cold because I was shaking so much, but I just kept saying nope, that I was shaking because of my nerves. When it came time for my spinal tap, I was readied for the pain they had explained to me, but lucky me...I didn't feel it at all!! At one point I was lying there talking to the nurse and asked her if they were done and she said "Well, um, yeah. You didn't feel anything?" I laughed and said "Nope." It was pretty cool not to feel any pain. :)

Brian met up with me in the OR all dressed in his surgical digs and things got started. It was the strangest thing ever!! I was completely numb from my chest down, but I could still "feel" touches and pressure. At one point before they actually started I felt someone touching my leg and immediately said "I feel that!" because I was afraid the spinal didn't work. The nurse reassured me, and then they did the poke test and I was even more reassured I would feel no cutting or pain. And I didn't, just pressure.

Before I knew it they were telling Brian to get the camera ready and at 11:47am Maggie Lily Keller was born! They rushed her towards the awaiting NICU team, but they gave me a quick look as she went by and I got to hear her cry. It was awesome!! Then, at 11:49am Jack Brian Keller was born! Again they rushed him towards the awaiting NICU team, but I got to see him too. Once the babies were settled with NICU, Brian was able to go and see them while the doctors finished up on me. That was the longest wait! Brian came back in to show me pictures of the babies and eventually I was finished in the OR and moved to recovery.

The rest of the day was exciting and exhausting. I got to my room (we were so fortunate to get to stay in the same room as before...considering the amount of stuff we'd accumulated) and tried to nap after my first time of pumping. Later that night I finally got to see my babies!! It was awesome, and I was so happy that we had toured the NICU previous that week because I felt so comfortable being wheeled into the unit.

Catching up to today...

Maggie is our little feisty girl. She is smaller than her brother, but active and quite the little gal. She was able to go straight to C Pap after birth and then yesterday she was put to just oxygen through her nose. She is also already taking in breast milk through a feeding tube and although she is under the lamps to prevent jaundice, she is doing fantastic and is super strong! What has been great is that I got to hold her yesterday and again today.

Jack is our fighter. After birth he went straight to C Pap, but early Saturday morning he blew a pnuemothorax and ended up with a chest tube to get the air volume down and he had to be indubated. The doctor called me at my room early Saturday morning and let me know all that had happened, and when Brian woke up he immediately went down there to see him. Since Saturday, Jack has completely turned around! He is currently being transitioned to hopefully have his chest tube taken out tomorrow morning and if that goes well, he should have his indubating tube removed and he can be put back on the C Pap. He is also taking in breast milk through a feeding tube and we just know he is going to continue to do great!

As for myself, I'm healing well. I will be going home some time tomorrow, but I'll be back here quite often! I started pumping from day 1 and although I got a bit discouraged from lack of production yesterday, today has been better and I think my milk will be coming in any time now. I'm trying to stick to every 3 hours...and still get plenty of rest and see the babies! It will be nice to finally go home and sleep in my bed. I've been here over 3 weeks!

OK...so I've put a lot into this blog and should stop now. I will keep this updated as much as I can. Thanks to everyone for all their thoughts and support!!

Some pictures:

Just before heading to the OR


Maggie 2lbs 10oz 15"


Jack 3lbs 3oz 15"

Buying time

Not as eventful as the weekend, but eventful enough. During my morning monitoring the babies were great, but I had contractions again. Fortunately they weren't close enough together for the doctor to be concerned about checking my cervix. I've been started on procardia, which is a strong muscle relaxant. The hope is that it will calm my uterus down and stop the contractions. I'm still not feeling the contractions, which I guess is good. So the same plan stands, I'll continue the procardia and be monitored for contractions twice a day. Hopefully we can at least get a few more weeks, August would be so much better than July.

Last night Brian and I toured University's NICU. It was a bit upsetting seeing the tiny baby and all the tubes, but it was also good to be prepared for what we will most likely face. The unit is huge and we met a couple of the nurses. They answered all of our questions, were very helpful and kind. It made me feel confident about the babies being there. I'm still scared, but I feel more prepared now than I was when I first got here.

My hospital stay continues to go as well as can be expected. The nurses are fantastic and I feel like I've made friends with some of them, which has been nice. We can talk about other stuff than the daily medical routine and it's been nice having that social interaction. My day to day routine has pretty much been established as well, which is good for me. Brian continues to be awesome!! I don't know how I would be able to handle this without him here by my side.

So for now, all is stable and good and we just hope it stays that way for many more weeks.

29 Weeks in L&D

Happy 29 weeks Babies! To celebrate their un-Birthday, the babies, Brian and I spent a sleepless night in Labor & Delivery. Saturday night around 10pm, like every normal night, I was put on the "toco" to monitor contractions. An hour later, the doctor came in because I was contracting every 7-10 minutes. Again, like last time, I didn't feel anything. The doctor did an internal exam and I had dilated to 5cm and my membranes appeared to be possibly bulging. So...I was transported to L&D. When we arrived and got somewhat settled into L&D, it was midnight and we congratulated ourselves for making it to 29 weeks. I got an IV for fluids, a catheter because I wasn't allowed out of bed with risk of my water breaking and hooked up to the monitors. The doctor decided to put me on Indocin, which is a strong Ibuprofen type drug. Then we waited. Brian was able to get some sleep, not good sleep, but some. I finally passed out sometime around 3:30am and slept somewhat on and off. Around 6:30 the nurse woke me to take my next dose of Indocin and then the doctor came in around 8. My contractions had stopped to only one in almost 3 hours and upon another internal she found that I hadn't progressed any further. So...I was released to go back to Antepartum. A big sigh of relief!

I'm very happy to be back "home"and still have the babies swimming around where they need to be. The plan for now is a straight 48 hours of the Indocin (they don't do it longer because of potential effects to the babies) and then we'll just return to the same routine. Hopefully I can still make it another few weeks, but we are preparing that the babies are probably coming sooner than later. Tomorrow we're going to tour the NICU. Right now I'd really like to make it until the end of week 30 so I can get one more steroid shot.

We're both staying positive and appreciate every one's support!

28 week ultrasound

This past Thursday we had a growth ultrasound. It was good to see the babies, although they were both pretty quiet during the ultrasound from all of the activity that morning.

Both babies are now head down, and right smack next to one another.


Here is Maggie's profile, Jack is facing my back so we couldn't get a shot of his profile or face.


Maggie is curled up with her bottom sticking up and often poking me. Jack is sprawled out in a diagonal, with his feet at Maggie's bottom.